Post-Pregnancy Crap

I am so moody all I want to do is curl up and hide somewhere. Everything is frustrating me, I was crying earlier over spilled popcorn... how depressing right? Blah. overall today went really great we got to go out for olive garden and then went shopping. It was fun, I miss when we can do stuff like this together as a family. But at the same time I just wanted to scream at everyone.

Then we got home and the boys went from behaving to tornados... I don't know what happend but all of a sudden they were running through the house jumping over the baby, screaming, getting into things that could hurt them, everything you can imagin all in about 10 min... I lost it. I freaked out and lost it. Thats all there is to it, I just went up to my room with tyler and sat and cryed for like 1o min.

My hubby came to check on me like he always does and in my anger and depression I sent him away. And as usual he smiled, kissed my head and went and calmed the boys down. I don't know how he does it but I know I could not do this without him. Being a mom is impossible alone (atleast a mom of 3). There's no better husband...at least not for me.

This is not the first time I've been upset... the doctors say it can last up to a year before my hormones go back to normal and I am not constantly changing moods at the drop of a hat. It scares me, I'll admit it. I have noticed improvements in my mood when I work out and eat right but I am still having a hard time being consistant with it. Lack of friends that I can talk to about anything has something to do with it I'm sure. And the ones I can talk to live miles and miles away making it that much harder to stay connected. Maybe one of these days things will change, theres always hope.

Sorry for the depressed ramblings, but this is my brain right now, and sadly its very normal. venting is what blogs are for (atleast mostly) so that is what you will probably see most from mine. If you get depressed, or don't want to read I will understand.

Goodnight... I think I'm going to take a long hot bath and hope for a better mood...