Decisions stink :P

Well.... today was eventful.... I don't even know what to say... (ok i do but still) my mother is an interesting person to be around... we went to half price and i watched her get horribly depressed about the price they were trying to give her for the dvd's and tv series she brought in. Just dumb... overall a bit stressful. I have a hard time with spending time with her since we are more different than I let on.

After our "fun" half price trip we went back to ph for supper... it was really weird everyone was staring at us and odly like 3 guys came over to look at the baby..... guys? really? ok.... I don't know what to think it was different. Sigh... the only enjoyment I got from going was admiring my sexy husband in his uniform.... thats probably the only part I like about him working... I keep telling him that too and he thinks I'm nutz.... so whats wrong with thinking he's hot isn't that the fun of being married ;) course then he comes home and switches to sweats and teeshirts and takes the fun out of it.... :P oh well. Walking in their seeing him stressed and upset he couldn't sit down with us made me want to drag him away and just take him home. It was really hard to just sit and wait till things calmed down... which they did and he was able to come see us a few times... but it was still hard and frustrating.

So found a better camera... I realized after deep thought that even though it comes with 2 lenses and a tone of other gagets that its only its an 8.o megapixel and the camera I have now (granted its just a regular camera) is a 7.1.... I figured that if I really wanted to do photography and be serouse about it I need a really good camera. So I found one (still the same brand cause I can keep my memory card that way) its a little more pricy but in some ways that helps me be more pacient and not rush out and grab it off the shelf... its amazing what happens when you look at things logicly right? I figured out for photography you don't need a degree... thankfully because according to a lot of people its a very high demand degree so their are hardly any spaces left for people who are just interested in the subject. plus it would mean going to a real college instead of online which doesn't work for me.

my baby's going to school monday... i feel like crying my eyes out... i'm going to miss him so much. he's already got the teacher's name memorized and the entire route through the school and he's totally psyched about the bus. I hope it lasts :( I don't know what i would do if i dropped him off and he burst into tears... i would probably grab him and put him back in the car and race home. as a parent thats the hardest thing you have to deal with are tears... especially scared tears... i lost it several times when he did that at his last school the first few times... it was sooo hard... i actually had to have my mom take him because i was barely making it back out of the classroom before i was crying with him. hopefully he will be better.

trying to think if their was anything else...
i have a 700 word paper due tomorrow i should work on so probably not... though i'll probably get a sucky grade anyway it seems to be the trend in these stupid classes. i was so afraid to start school just for this reason... i'm not smart. not book smart anyway... you ask me anything about relationships, people, anything like that and i can help or atleast tell you why they may be thinking or acting a certain way... i pride myself on knowing how to do that... but when it comes to math and science and all that book stuff i am so lost and feel like the dumb kid.... (course the learning disability doesn't help things... test anxioty is a killer for me every time) i was getting excited because my first few classes were so easy and i flew right through them... then the computer class hit and i was mad and frustrated because i couldn't understand anything it was horrible. and now these classes i finally think i get it and it blows up in my face.. no one even coments on my posts its like i don't even exsist. i know it will be better... i mean it realllllly needs to be but right now i just want to scream and quit.... and it doesn't help that i have now put teaching as like my backup backup plan... i have so many other things that are sounding more interesting by the day it is making it difficult to be dedicated to classes on teaching... but i want a degree in something so like it or not i'm sticking to it... besides kids are my strong suite if i can't figure out questions about them i'm screwed...

oh well enough rambling...
If you have any questions for me or want to know anything just ask. I will answer 99.9% of your questions their are VERY few things i prefer not to talk about... in fact as i'm typing this i can't think of anything i would talk about... but who knows till you ask right... ? so go for it... its get to know Lora/Pixy week Bloggin'